20160929

Mondays

Uber e-mails me the invoice and prompts me to rate my driver. I consider for a second or two, and rate my driver 2 stars. Click submit.

---

The elevator door opens, and Marley is already inside. She probably got on it from the basement. She holds the door and gestures towards me.

"We're late," she says.

I acknowledge her, walk into the elevator and say 'Yes' or 'Yup' or 'Yeah' or 'I know' or something along those lines. Marley says something else about the client we're about to meet and I pretend like I care. I tell her 'Sure' or 'Uh-huh' or 'That's right' or 'Mos Def' or something along those lines. The elevator door opens at Level 22 and we both step out.

The meeting room looked like a place where ideas went to die. Marley puts on her client-facing face and greets everyone around the table. She makes an unfunny remark (although it was intended otherwise) about KL traffic conditions and apologizes for being a little late. I put on my fake-smile and say 'Sorry' or 'Apologies' or 'Won't happen again' or 'I'm not really sorry' or something along those lines.

"So, let us begin," Marley starts the meeting off.

She starts by spewing a bullshit monologue disguised as something insightful. The client nods. Someone is taking notes. The client has questions. I answer the questions. Someone is taking notes. I spew a bullshit sales pitch disguised as something insightful. Someone nods. The client is taking notes. Repeat steps 2 to 8 for a couple of hours. Meeting ends. I say 'Thanks' or 'Thank you' or 'It was a pleasure' or 'Hell yeah' or something along those lines.

---

In hindsight, I should have rated my Uber driver 1 star.